What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Do individuals with borderline personality disorder have awareness of their actions or do they believe their behavior is normal?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

If James Bond is meant to be the best secret agent in the world, how come all the bad guys in the World seem to know who he is?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Is it legal to record a conversation with a therapist without their consent or the consent of the other person involved?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Were the 1980s as uptight and prudish as movies and TV shows make them out to be? When I think of 80s culture, I think about a very "icky" judgmental yuppie status quo time period.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Are judges being lenient on hard criminals?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Do you usually wear your panties over or under your pantyhose?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

How do scientists behave?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why do I sweat a great deal while exercising the same on some days and not so much on others?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

TEXT:

Why hasn't Japan legalized same-sex marriage?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How do I become an intelligent man?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority